Today was one of those days.
One of those days that when Emmah woke up, I rolled out of bed and said "we're going to Starbucks!"
It really has been one of those months, to be honest. Emmah has refused to nap lately and is waking up almost every two hours at night. This mama is getting no sleep. On top of this, I am struggling to find the balance.
The balance I have been so deperately seeking since Emmah turned 6 months old. I finally felt like I was [somewhat] back to my normal self, but here I am 3 months later feeling less than adequate. The day I feel like the best Mom, I feel like a terrible wife [did I even say one kind thing to my husband today or did I only ask him to take the garbage out?] Other than yesterday, I couldn't tell you the last time I cooked dinner. Our poor furbabies probably think I hate them. I wear running shorts and a t-shirt most days [Do I run? Not most days. But I do walk! Most days.] And "me-time"...who is me again? [seriously, who am I?]
Starbucks didn't help this morning.
Exhaustion combined with a fussy baby who didn't want to leave Mama's side brought me to tears. Mike took Emmah, told me to take a few minutes to myself, and reminded me to run to Jesus.
I opened the good book and God spoke.
"The LORD sets prisoners free"
[Psalm 146:7]
Freedom.
This is what God offers me daily.
He offers me freedom from the pressures of being the best at everything. He tells me that I am enough. Even if dinner is PB&Js three nights this week, I am enough. He tells me that we have enough. He tells me to live more simply. He tells me that comparison is the thief of joy.
He sets me free.
We're working on finding the balance.
Mamas, did you struggle with finding balance? What did you do?
Hey dear! We have all been there! Things that I have found work for me are lists. I know that sounds weird but if I set myself little goals then I seem to get things done. I make a list of what we are going to have for dinner each night. I have a cleaning schedule (http://godslittlegrace.blogspot.com/2014/02/cleaning-schedule.html ) and after Grace goes to bed I take a bath all by myself! Even if it only is 5 minutes it is the only 5 minute all day alone. I also try to run (me time) 4 times a week. Even if Grace doesn't want to I make it a priority and she goes a long with it. I hope this helps?
ReplyDeleteThanks for the tips Katie! I never thought about 5 minutes being enough. In my mind I need like an hour to sit and mellow out. I will give it a shot :) I hope your pregnancy is going smoothly!
DeleteI found you by scrolling through blogs via comments of friends I follow. I believe you commented on one of little baby garvins posts ;) I'm Kristin. New follower! I can't wait to be a momma. Starbucks is my life saver this summer with being an assistant camp director for a day camp. I love that you rely on Jesus and it's probably the main reason I commented. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy you chose to follow! I have been struggling to find time to blog, but I am determined to get on a schedule :) Being a mama is amazing, definitely challenging, but amazing. What kind of camp do you work at? Thanks for commenting!!
DeleteI felt like this A LOT when Mya was younger. It gets better though. I don't know if them growing up and doing more makes it better, or if you just eventually learn the balance? I'm not sure, but hang in there! It gets better!
ReplyDeleteThanks Jennifer, that is encouraging!
DeleteOh momma, this rings truer than true many days. It's hard to give our very best to every person, every day. And, most days the person who gets left behind the most is the momma.
ReplyDeleteIf you have time, carve time out of the day specifically just for you. Be it a trip to Target, or the coffee shop, the gym, or out for a run/walk, make sure it's just.for.you.
The days are long but the years are short... Hang in there, it will get better.
I still struggle with balance. I think becoming a mom means beginning your never-ending struggle to find balance. I think it gets easier (or maybe we just more used to it).
ReplyDeleteWe just got through a sleepless phase (which naturally coinciding with my return to work - ew) but are now back to the glorious sleeping through the night!!! There is a light at the end of the sleepless tunnel... it's just hard to see when you're struggling to keep your eyes open :)
You got this... next time, get two coffees ;)