The journey was magical, exciting, exhilarating!
The journey was…rough.
But the journey was worth it.
Mike & I decided to move for various reasons.
And I was
ready. I liked change.
Or so I thought.
The actual process of moving was not so bad, I had 4 boys
helping load and unload the truck, so that was easy. The drive from the east
coast to Chicago was fine. We stopped plenty of times to let Marley go to the
bathroom (and ourselves). We stopped a few hours away from Chicago, in Michigan
to get some rest. We woke up the next day and drove into the city and got the
keys to our new apartment.
An apartment that I wasn’t sure I could make a home.
An apartment that I didn’t pick out. That Mike choose
while he was in Chicago for a month before he came back and got me.
An apartment that didn’t have any of our things in it. Our
stuff that makes our house feel like a home.
And that’s when it hit me.
The tears.
The tears came when I realized that there wasn’t a drawer
for my silverware in the whole kitchen.
“We have no jobs.”
“I can’t believe I left my amazing job for this”
“What was Mike thinking leading us into this?!”
“There is NO way our bed will fit in this bedroom!?”
“This can’t be our home”
I panicked.
I let fear get the best of me.
I forgot who was in control. Who my solid ground is.
And then guilt.
“Why am I not walking in faith, trusting that God is in
control of our lives?”
Fear robbed me of the excitement of a new place, and the
moment to embrace the new adventure God has sent us on. Not to mention, made
Mike feel terrible about the apartment he chose for us, thinking he made the
wrong choice.
God does not want us to have a spirit of fear. Fear robs us
of joy.
Mike prayed for me, I calmed down, God gave me eyes to see
His goodness in this, and He reminded me of the excitement I felt earlier about
this adventure.
I am so thankful that even though I am not always faithful,
He always is and He has a plan.
It might not be the plan we expect or currently want, but it
is what we need.
And in my experience, His plans are always greater than the
ones I have thought of myself.
A week later, God has surpassed all expectations we had and
He has confirmed that we are where we are supposed to be.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your
own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your path
straight.”
Proverbs 3: 6-7
